Newish Year Resolutions
As I realise that the world is evidently and definitely going to end in 2012, I find it necessary to make a list of New Year’s Resolutions akin to a bucket list or a list of the things I have to do before I die. First thing’s first,
1. Quit law school
Then I need to gather some cash in order to continue with my resolutions, simply by employing a few of the following means:
1. Use Daddy’s credit card
2. Gamble/ invest i.e. same thing really
3. Marry rich man; divorce rich man
4. Marry rich old man; wait
5. Marry rich young man; use rich young man’s credit card
6. Marry rich young man; use rich young man’s daddy’s credit card
And this is what I’m going to do with all my monies:
1. JUST, YOU KNOW, BUY STUFF
2. Trip to Paris etc.
3. Rent out a suite at every luxury hotel
4. Refuse to wear anything other than haute couture
5. Sue someone/ be sued although this may be too late now, seeing by the time the case goes to court the world would have ended, dammit
6. Start own one member religion which worships soft, smooth, warm, clean towels
7. Start own one member political party which promises to be corrupt. It’s all about honesty and realistic goals
8. Start own one writer one reader newspaper which delivers news from my own brain oh wait that would be this blog and my Twitter feed yay! One item checked off the list
9. Write single character single/self reader novel oh wait that would be my diary yay! Another item checked off the list
10. Have lavish wedding with aforementioned rich/ rich and old/ rich and young man
So looking forward to doing all of that! I love it when the world ends. Oh and, who knew the pressing reality of death and finality would inspire such an overwhelming level of selflessness and charity in me? What they say is true, I really do treasure my life more now that I know I’m going to die, although of course I already knew that.
