Current status: all drugged up.

I came back from Europe and of COURSE the first thing I did was catch a cold. Reasonably I raked the cabinet for anything vaguely resembling cold pills and ended up taking three pills, white, red and yellow, with absolutely no medical reference or common sense (I just liked the colours). I went to bed straight after that and dreamt about getting really fat (realistic) and applying for the wrong subject at uni and sending it to the wrong faculty (also realistic), plus owning the Moleskine factory and producing a 2010 diary which was red but NOT a twin set (unrealistic, but should be seriously considered).

I woke up and immediately realised something odd about my surroundings: I could not hear a thing. I decided there must have been something wrong with my nose (since, of course, the nose was made to hear). And thus, motivated by the imminent desire to blow my nose, I did just that. By the end of the hour I’ve used up an entire box of tissues. Of course, it was a relatively small box of tissues which was already half used up, but this is my blog and I can exaggerate as much as I want.

And so here I am typing away, grammatical error- conscious, telling you how amazing my day has been so far. I remember once in class our history teacher (the same one who talked about Asian weirdness) asked us whether we had blogs, and before we could defend our honour he decided to tell us that writing a blog was about the most self-centered, self-absorbed thing to do. Well what can I say; I can’t help it that my massive fan base is violently interested in what pills I took last night. I can’t let them down now, can I!

My second attempt

at appreciating Europe was much less successful as compared with my first. London was charming and friendly; I grew fond of it and still yearn to return. Italy, however, was much less so. Although I have not been mugged, raped, arrested or thrown in a dungeon of lions (or whatever it was the crazy Romans practise), I have not quite enjoyed the good food or good company I so looked forward to.

To be fair, I did achieve my main aim of going to Italy – fulfilling the teenage checklist-item of going on a school trip, and taking loads of photographs. However, because it was a school trip we had to hoard restaurants forty hungry tourists at one go, and obviously waiters were impatient and cooks reduced to mass production of unrealistically stereotypical tourist group food, complete with undercooked pasta and what tasted like and appeared to be expired canned fruit for desert. Remembering this, I am so amazed at how well the teachers dealt with us; I’m sure looking after us was much more challenging than anything Italian cooks were faced with.

In terms of photographs, overall it did make my amateur photographer side happy. When I was in the Vatican City, the lighting was beyond perfect, and the Tuscan sun was impeccably beautiful. But of course, as any tourist in Italy would note, I didn’t have enough time. Plus I didn’t have a willing model who was not my unwilling classmate who did not want to look vain and self-absorbed. Eventually I still forced my classmate to pose for me, and yes, she did complain about me making her look vain and self-absorbed.

At this juncture I would just like to add how willing a model I would have been for myself. Because, yes, I am vain and self-absorbed, no doubt about that.

And so I have returned, with genuine Italian leather souvenirs (still regretting why I didn’t buy ten of the same leather belt), and to happy messages telling me how beautiful my postcards were. And of course, I am now overwhelmed by extreme optimism and anticipation towards the relaxing, successful, and generally brilliant life I lead outside of a mid-October school trip. I really should not complain about Italy, because at least in HK I have internet connection. And a comfortable bed. Oh, you have absolutely idea how great my Asian bed is. At our hotel in Rome we tried to get on one of the beds and it collapsed. Literally. We found it pretty funny back then, but now when contemplating it with the benefit of hindsight, it was just pathetic.

Want to know something else that’s pathetic? In the itinerary our teachers kindly provided us with, us girls were reminded not to sleep with Italian men if they asked us to, and if they asked us to marry them, not not marry them. Unfortunately I have an unattractive and threatening Asian face, and therefore only attracted a grand total of two Italian men, which of course added considerable weight to my already plummeting self esteem. Actually I’m not even sure if they were pick up attempts, since they were speaking in Italian and I had no idea what they were saying. For all I know those Italian men were just asking me politely whether they could mug me. Strange beings, Italian men can be.

Photos up on flickr. Approaching my upload quota… dammit.

The more eventful

my life is, the less I want to update. So I’m sorry, dear landmass of the Internets, but my public life has been pretty boring lately.

Until of course recently The Boyfriend is no more. I’m going to keep the whole thing an intriguing mystery, but let it be known that there are absolutely no personal hard feelings involved, and I still love my bunnies as much as ever.

Now I’m going to go sulk and… do my homework. I can’t bloody believe I’m still in high school when everyone else is off to university doing their thing. I still worry about whether or not I’ve done my essay planning and my Economics homework, when I should be yelling communistic slogans on the streets or smoking weed or having exploratory and reckless sex or something. But no, I have to learn about trigonometric identities which, I hereby swear upon my life, I would never actually utilise ever again in my entire life.

Unless of course my son or daughter wants me to teach them about trigonometry, in which case I will just pretend I have no idea what that excruciatingly long word means, and tell him/her that high school is a waste of time and it really, really doesn’t matter if they fail maths.

My children will be the happiest children in the universe.

BUNNIES!

I was in bed for two days due to an epic fever and therefore, yes, I am now significantly smarter since being inspired by a superior force which reached the inner matters of my brain during my 48 hours of Panadol abuse.

This morning, a happy sunny Sunday morning, I called The Boyfriend to have an argument with him about whether or not prostitution should be illegal, as I do.

The Boyfriend: Of course prostitution should not be illegal!
Lydia: Why? There is no NEED for prostitution.
The Boyfriend: Of course there is! Maybe someone NEEDED to lose his virginity and didn’t  have a girlfriend so he HAD to hire a prostitute.
Lydia: Why would a person NEED to lose his virginity?!
The Boyfriend: (Pause)… MAYBE HE WAS IN A BET, I DON’T KNOW!

Lameness ensues. I actually have much more quotes where that came from, but I’m usually killed laughing to actually remember what made me laugh at the first place.

I hope you found that funny, or else I would have just sounded lame on my own blog…

On an even weirder tone, BUNNIES!

Bunny!

Three bunnies! (From left: Sprinkles, Cherry and Cream)
DO NOT comment on their names. I don’t want to know.

Bunnies in bag!

Headache is back. Panadol time!

Sang at a

memorial this evening. It was slightly depressing, and I remember weeping at one point, but what struck me was the fear of death which began to grow in me. Not my own death, but the death of the person I love with my life, and the fear of living in loneliness.

I might actually have to start making friends to avoid that scenario.

So then we decided to have dinner and dessert, at this small cafe round the corner. It was quiet and everything seemed slower and calmer there with the jazz playing softly and the warm soothing smell of coffee floating in the air. Alright I romanticized that a bit, but it was a nice place nonetheless. The chocolate cake consumed the fear in me; as chocolate is probably the only thing which can defeat turmoil and fear.

And tea, of course (:

Truffle cake (:

Rose Cake which ACTUALLY tasted like rose.

My History teacher used to say he was baffled at two Asian girl trends: one,  Asian hand gestures, e.g. the V sign or puffed up cheeks, faithfully practised by virtually every teenage girl in Hong Kong, and two, the tremendous urge for Asian girls to take a picture of every single thing on their dinner table and shove them all on their poorly maintained blogs. Well what can I say but ASIAN PRIDE.